I wish relationships got easier as we got older but it seems maybe they don't. And I'm someone who craves peace and hates being misunderstood. The older I get the better I am at standing up for myself, but that may have also made me more willing to fight a battle that my younger, more peace-keeping (maybe scared) self would have avoided. If the situation warrants I want to explain myself, be heard, tell my side. After that I can't control what anyone thinks or does, but I feel I've done what I can at that point.
My biggest letting go experience was
probably my divorce. Of course the relationship itself required letting go, but I also had to let go of my ideas of how my life would play out, and there was a lot of pain, anger and bitterness. It took years, but I got there.
In the past few years there have been a couple less life-changing instances, and very recently another upsetting incident was brought to light. This is probably the first year that I've chosen to walk away and let go. It has not been easy and it hasn't been perfect, and it wasn't immediate. I still hurt. And I'm still angry. But not nearly as much so if I'd allowed myself to hang on. The most recent event was maybe a game-changer for me. I decided within a day to simply let it go. No confrontation. No upheaval. No questions.
It was the most peaceful I'd felt in a long time. By choosing to let go, I relieved myself of the burden of carrying anger with me. I chose to not let it affect my life. I chose to be responsible for me and my actions, and move forward. It was the most freeing thing.
Forgiveness is a lot tougher, but I think by not choosing the anger it will be a lot easier to get to forgiveness as well. And I pray that with each future circumstance, that this reaction will get easier and more natural.
We all make mistakes. I've made HUGE ones in my life. I continue to make mistakes. I have to remind myself that and remember that it's unfair for me to judge anyone. I think we all hope that if we do wrong by someone they'll forgive us, so how unfair would it be to not do the same? Even if they haven't asked for it.